January 22

Not used to depression...It's been about 2 years since we conceived Gianna and 5 since we conceived Ariana, and things had been going swell for some time now. I talk to the boys about their sisters in heaven, no depression; I see their memory boxes, no depression; all kinds of things remind me of them daily, no depression; until the whole picture thing...depression.

Maybe I haven't bounced out of it because I know the anniversary of Roe v. Wade is tomorrow and there are millions of babies whose Mothers chose this. I don't understand how people could choose this, but then I'm sure people don't understand the pain of losing a child until they've come to terms with the fact that they have indeed lost a child. I don't pretend to think that every choice for abortion is an easy, flippant one, but I know that some are and that's painful...to throw away beautiful life...lives like my Ariana and Gianna's...God turn our hearts to you and be merciful.

So back to the depression...should you feel it too, let us together offer the pain for all of those contemplating abortion, for those women who are forced to have abortions (the deepest of tragedies, much deeper than our own), for those men and women who desperately need healing from abortion...may God have mercy on us all and give us His peace.

No more pictures

As I wondered around the blogisphere to check out the pictures of friends' kids, I started to well up with tears...wow, haven't done that in awhile. There were kids there that are the ages my little Ariana and Gianna should be now, and the kids are all smiling and happy, enjoying life with their families...I have a similar website for pics of the boys, but I can't take and post pics of my precious girls.

I remind myself: my girls are in heaven now... they're beyond any happiness the children in this world could possibly know... they smile upon the faces of Jesus and Mary instead of mine, and I'm sure Jesus and Mary smile back... my girls are in heaven now... heaven... beautiful, wonderful heaven... heaven hold them (and me)