Remember, O Most Gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that anyone
who fled to they protection,
implored thy help,
or sought thine intercession
was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee,
O Virgin of virgins, my mother,
to thee I com, before thee I stand,
sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions,
but in they mercy hear and answer me.
Amen
How can I speak of healing from miscarriage without mentioning our Blessed Mother, who also lost her Son because of God's perfect will? Because of her "fiat," her perfect openness to God's holy will, salvation came to all of man. She said "be it done unto me according to Thy will" and she knew God's will was perfect. She heard that a sword would pierce her heart, and she did not waiver, only trusted in God. What a model of perfect submission to God's holy will we have!
After both miscarriages, I have thought about our Blessed Mother and the suffering she must have endured seeing Jesus through His Passion and Death; the pain I felt after losing Ariana and Gianna having only held them in my womb for a few weeks was so immense...it is impossible for me to imagine what it must have been like carrying Him for 9 months, and then caring for Him for 33 years before He endured such a death, and she endured such a loss. How beautiful that she would endure this burden for our salvation and the salvation of our children! How horrible that it was my sinfulness that necessitated her Son's death, but they also gave reason for His becoming man...reason for His becoming hers. Not that I plan to continue in sin, nor am I grateful for sin, but it goes to show God can work all things for good. And so He does with us...He works all things for good. Perhaps by losing our children, we will turn our hearts all the more to Him and thus be aided on our path to salvation. We pray that the good done from losing our little ones in this life bears fruit for our eternal life!
Our Lady of Sorrows, pray for us.
Our Lady of Perpetual Help, pray for us.
Mary, Comforter of the Afflicted, pray for us.
Mary, Mother of Divine Grace, pray for us.
Mary, Refuge of Sinners, pray for us.
Mary, Most Holy, pray for us.
See the Litany of Loreto
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Miscarriage Prayer & more
I received this in an e-mail from Angela, and wanted to pass it along to you all:
"With my first miscarriage, Fr. Gary called me and said, "Congratulations!" I was stunned, and replied, "EXCUSE ME!!" To which he said, "The idea is to get your children to heaven sinless....you did it!"
Recently with my fourth miscarriage, it joyfully occurred to me, that upon my death, I shall leave 5 very lively, loving children behind and upon entering Eternal Life, I will be greeted by the four whom I have lost!! I shall not enter Heaven alone as a mother!! Isn't that a wonderful thought?
I also wanted to share with your Mother Angelica's Miscarriage Prayer:
Miscarriage Prayer
My Lord, the baby is dead!
Why, my Lord—dare I ask why? It will not hear the whisper of the wind or see the beauty of its parents’ face—it will not see the beauty of Your creation or the flame of a sunrise. Why, my Lord?
“Why, My child—do you ask ‘why’? Well, I will tell you why.
You see, the child lives. Instead of the wind he hears the sound of angels singing before My throne. Instead of the beauty that passes he sees everlasting Beauty—he sees My face. He was created and lived a short time so the image of his parents imprinted on his face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor. He knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth. He laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess. My ways are not the ways of man. I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another. He was created for My joy and his parents’ merits. He has never seen pain or sin. He has never felt hunger or pain. I breathed a soul into a seed, made it grow and called it forth.”
I am humbled before you, my Lord, for questioning Your wisdom, goodness, and love. I speak as a fool—forgive me. I acknowledge Your sovereign rights over life and death. I thank You for the life that began for so short a time to enjoy so long an Eternity.
-- Mother M. Angelica"
You can also see the link to Mother Angelica's prayer and a prayer of blessing for parents who have miscarried in the links on the right. Thank you, Angela, for your reflections! May we dedicate ourselves wholly to Christ, so that one day we may be united with Him and our children!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Deep calling deep
"Deep calls to deep
at the thunder of they cataracts;
all thy waves and thy billows
have gone over me.
By day the Lord commands his steadfast love;
and at night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life."
Psalm 42: 7-8
There is something about the thought of the depth of God calling out to the depth of my heart that brings me deep consolation in all tribulations. I think it is knowing that God knows the innerworkings of my heart; He knows the depth of my soul, and still he calls to me, to that very part of me. Not only does he call to the depths of my soul, but He commands His steadfast love, His deep and abiding love; a love filled with mercy and with hope. How can I not sing His praise? How can I not offer my life and the life of my children as a prayer to Him?
at the thunder of they cataracts;
all thy waves and thy billows
have gone over me.
By day the Lord commands his steadfast love;
and at night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life."
Psalm 42: 7-8
There is something about the thought of the depth of God calling out to the depth of my heart that brings me deep consolation in all tribulations. I think it is knowing that God knows the innerworkings of my heart; He knows the depth of my soul, and still he calls to me, to that very part of me. Not only does he call to the depths of my soul, but He commands His steadfast love, His deep and abiding love; a love filled with mercy and with hope. How can I not sing His praise? How can I not offer my life and the life of my children as a prayer to Him?
The question "why?"
The day after we found out that we were miscarrying Gianna, we had our holy hour. While in adoration, I questioned God asking "why": why did we need another miscarriage; why wasn't one enough; why do they have to happen at all; why would He give our girls life only to take it away a few weeks later? The answer was hard; not a reason at all, but questions back to me: "Why do you sin?," "Isn't it for your sins that my Son died?" God was being my Father. He wasn't belittling my mourning, but He was letting me know that I don't need to question why He does the things He does. He is perfect. He knows what He is doing, and He does EVERYTHING for our good, even to the point of sending His own Son to redeem us from our sin, something we are not worthy of, and yet He extends His mercy. The fragility of life is a reminder to us that we need to strive eagerly to live a life of holiness, to rid ourselves from sin, and to trust completely in God's mercy.
Sometimes I get little glimpses of why we are called to struggle through this...because we have intercessors in heaven, because we can minister to others through it, because we can unite our suffering to Christ's and thus break ourselves from sin, because we can offer those sufferings for the good of the world, and, in our case, especially for the end to abortion. Accepting the death of our little ones is accepting the will of God. And we need not question the will of God, only spend our lives doing whatever He wills.
"Therefore, since Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same attitude (for whoever suffers in the flesh has broken with sin), so as not to spend what remains of one's life in the flesh on human desires, but on the will of God." 1 Peter 4:1
Sometimes I get little glimpses of why we are called to struggle through this...because we have intercessors in heaven, because we can minister to others through it, because we can unite our suffering to Christ's and thus break ourselves from sin, because we can offer those sufferings for the good of the world, and, in our case, especially for the end to abortion. Accepting the death of our little ones is accepting the will of God. And we need not question the will of God, only spend our lives doing whatever He wills.
"Therefore, since Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same attitude (for whoever suffers in the flesh has broken with sin), so as not to spend what remains of one's life in the flesh on human desires, but on the will of God." 1 Peter 4:1
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Are miscarried babies angels?
Many people have called our children that we have miscarried "angels," which made us realize that many people do not understand what angels are. I looked up the definition of "Angels" in the Catholic Source Book (awesome book by the way) and it reads:
"Heavenly beings, genderless, of a fixed population, who neither marry nor are given in marriage; distinct from saints (which humans may become); mentioned nearly 300 times in the Bible." pg. 117
So, I wanted to clear things up a little. I mean no disrespect to those who find comfort in thinking of their children as angels, but this is simply not the truth, and the truth is what will truly console us. The truth is that we, with God, gave them their humanity; the only way they can be our children, our flesh and bone, is through their humanity. Our babies had a gender, they may become saints, they are distinct from angels, and they are beautiful own purpose and being. To call my child an angel is to deny that the child is truly mine, my flesh, for angels do not have flesh, do not have parents.
We can believe that, if we desire their baptism, God will take them to heaven when they day and they will be saints. The church also proclaims that we may hope for heaven for all babies who have died without baptism, despite the parents' desire to have them baptized. So this is where our hope and consolation lie, in knowing our little baby has become a saint. To quote the Catholic Encyclopedia:
"Vatican II says that saints are those who are joined to Him "in sharing for ever a life that is divine and free from all decay" and "have found true life with God" (GS 18); they "share in his life and glory" (AG 2) and "share in his happiness" (GS 21)."
How beautiful and consoling to think of our children in this way!
"Heavenly beings, genderless, of a fixed population, who neither marry nor are given in marriage; distinct from saints (which humans may become); mentioned nearly 300 times in the Bible." pg. 117
So, I wanted to clear things up a little. I mean no disrespect to those who find comfort in thinking of their children as angels, but this is simply not the truth, and the truth is what will truly console us. The truth is that we, with God, gave them their humanity; the only way they can be our children, our flesh and bone, is through their humanity. Our babies had a gender, they may become saints, they are distinct from angels, and they are beautiful own purpose and being. To call my child an angel is to deny that the child is truly mine, my flesh, for angels do not have flesh, do not have parents.
We can believe that, if we desire their baptism, God will take them to heaven when they day and they will be saints. The church also proclaims that we may hope for heaven for all babies who have died without baptism, despite the parents' desire to have them baptized. So this is where our hope and consolation lie, in knowing our little baby has become a saint. To quote the Catholic Encyclopedia:
"Vatican II says that saints are those who are joined to Him "in sharing for ever a life that is divine and free from all decay" and "have found true life with God" (GS 18); they "share in his life and glory" (AG 2) and "share in his happiness" (GS 21)."
How beautiful and consoling to think of our children in this way!
All things came to be through Him...
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came to be through him, and without him nothing came to be. What came to be through him was life, and this life was the light of the human race; the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1: 1-4
This was one of the passages we read this weekend as we buried Gianna Clare. We have the great blessing of Lucas's family living on a ranch in South Texas. We buried both Ariana and Gianna there, and what a blessing to know the land will (God-willing) be in the family forever. Praise be to God that Lucas's parents hvae been so generous in letting us use a portion for our girls. Not everyone is so fortunate, so I'm looking for suggestions of what others have done, and I plan to see what can be done locally to have a proper place where those who miscarry can bury their babies....God give me the time to do this!
Okay, back to the passage...I don't have a whole lot to say about it; it speaks for itself very well. As Lucas read it aloud after we placed the little box holding our precious Gianna Clare in the ground, I sensed the Lord's healing and renewal...I realized that Christ's light will shine into our souls (provided we open ourselves to Him) through the darkness of miscarriage. Thought the darkness may seem intense, the darkness will not overcome us. It will not be too much for us, for without God, Ariana and Gianna would have never come to be; so how can I doubt that He will give us what we need to get through?
This was one of the passages we read this weekend as we buried Gianna Clare. We have the great blessing of Lucas's family living on a ranch in South Texas. We buried both Ariana and Gianna there, and what a blessing to know the land will (God-willing) be in the family forever. Praise be to God that Lucas's parents hvae been so generous in letting us use a portion for our girls. Not everyone is so fortunate, so I'm looking for suggestions of what others have done, and I plan to see what can be done locally to have a proper place where those who miscarry can bury their babies....God give me the time to do this!
Okay, back to the passage...I don't have a whole lot to say about it; it speaks for itself very well. As Lucas read it aloud after we placed the little box holding our precious Gianna Clare in the ground, I sensed the Lord's healing and renewal...I realized that Christ's light will shine into our souls (provided we open ourselves to Him) through the darkness of miscarriage. Thought the darkness may seem intense, the darkness will not overcome us. It will not be too much for us, for without God, Ariana and Gianna would have never come to be; so how can I doubt that He will give us what we need to get through?
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Labor Pains
"Jesus said to his disciples:
“Amen, amen, I say to you, you will weep and mourn, while the world rejoices; you will grieve, but your grief will become joy. When a woman is in labor, she is in anguish because her hour has arrived; but when she has given birth to a child, she no longer remembers the pain because of her joy that a child has been born into the world. So you also are now in anguish. But I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you. On that day you will not question me about anything. Amen, amen, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you.”" John 16:20-23
Last Friday, this was the Gospel reading for daily Mass. In brief, Father was preaching during his homily about the "labor pains" we go through in this life in order to bring about the joy of God. It was a beautiful homily. I noticed, however, that I started to focus on the woman who is in labor, how much I longed for that pain, knowing I would not bear it with my little Gianna Clare, who we had just miscarried. I began to cry, to mourn the loss of these pains, and then the loss of the joy of having her in my arms and then no longer remembering the pain because of the joy that a child has been born into the world. I knew that I was at a crossroads in my thinking...I could continue to feel sorry for myself, or I could turn my thoughts to God and see what He wanted to teach me through this scripture & Father's homily. So, praise God, I wiped my tears and turned my thoughts to Him who loves (something I am not always able to do). I began to think about the "labor pains" I was experiencing with the loss of Gianna Clare, and those I had felt with the loss of Ariana Faustina...the sorrow from never holding them in my arms, from never seeing their hearts beat, the difficulty of telling all those who had been excitedly praying for their safe arrival that they would not arrive, hearing the comments of the people who, with good intentions, offered words that hurt rather than healed...all the interior pains that one feels when one loses a precious loved one. I realized that my "labor pains" were not a physical pain, but the interior pain was just as real. And then I considered how the woman forgets her pain when she realizes that a child is born into the world: and how much greater the joy when we REALIZE that a child has been born, not into this world, but into the next, to heaven. May this joy be what causes us to no longer remember the interior pains of miscarriage.
I also do not want to post such an incredible scriptural passage (aren't they all?) without comment on "you will grieve, but your grief will become joy" and "So you also are now in anguish. But I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you. " God's beautiful promise of healing is repeated over and over again in scripture. We must strive eagerly for heaven so that our hearts can rejoice with God when we see Him in glory and no one will take our joy away from us!
“Amen, amen, I say to you, you will weep and mourn, while the world rejoices; you will grieve, but your grief will become joy. When a woman is in labor, she is in anguish because her hour has arrived; but when she has given birth to a child, she no longer remembers the pain because of her joy that a child has been born into the world. So you also are now in anguish. But I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you. On that day you will not question me about anything. Amen, amen, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you.”" John 16:20-23
Last Friday, this was the Gospel reading for daily Mass. In brief, Father was preaching during his homily about the "labor pains" we go through in this life in order to bring about the joy of God. It was a beautiful homily. I noticed, however, that I started to focus on the woman who is in labor, how much I longed for that pain, knowing I would not bear it with my little Gianna Clare, who we had just miscarried. I began to cry, to mourn the loss of these pains, and then the loss of the joy of having her in my arms and then no longer remembering the pain because of the joy that a child has been born into the world. I knew that I was at a crossroads in my thinking...I could continue to feel sorry for myself, or I could turn my thoughts to God and see what He wanted to teach me through this scripture & Father's homily. So, praise God, I wiped my tears and turned my thoughts to Him who loves (something I am not always able to do). I began to think about the "labor pains" I was experiencing with the loss of Gianna Clare, and those I had felt with the loss of Ariana Faustina...the sorrow from never holding them in my arms, from never seeing their hearts beat, the difficulty of telling all those who had been excitedly praying for their safe arrival that they would not arrive, hearing the comments of the people who, with good intentions, offered words that hurt rather than healed...all the interior pains that one feels when one loses a precious loved one. I realized that my "labor pains" were not a physical pain, but the interior pain was just as real. And then I considered how the woman forgets her pain when she realizes that a child is born into the world: and how much greater the joy when we REALIZE that a child has been born, not into this world, but into the next, to heaven. May this joy be what causes us to no longer remember the interior pains of miscarriage.
I also do not want to post such an incredible scriptural passage (aren't they all?) without comment on "you will grieve, but your grief will become joy" and "So you also are now in anguish. But I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you. " God's beautiful promise of healing is repeated over and over again in scripture. We must strive eagerly for heaven so that our hearts can rejoice with God when we see Him in glory and no one will take our joy away from us!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
"Blessed are those who mourn...
...for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4. God promises us His comfort. What a promise...we do not know the time or the hour His comfort will come, but we know that it will come, and so we rejoice. We hold on to the promise that He will give us peace, and we make it through another day. How beautiful the love of the Father, to offer His consolation to poor sinners.
A Cause for Hope
Our first goal as Christians is to be united with our loving God, who greatly desires our closeness to Him. Is there anything that could be greater than this? And our goal as parents, of course, is to get our children to heaven. How amazing the consolation then, knowing that our baby, because we desired their baptism, has encountered God's great mercy and is praising Him in heaven. How great our hope for heaven when we know we will be reunited with our precious children who have gone before us! This is why I titled the blog, "A Cause for Hope," because that is precisely what our little saints are.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
The call
Ever since the miscarriage of our daughter, Ariana Faustina, I have sensed a call to help other mothers who have lost their children to miscarriage as well. Now, following the miscarriage of our second daughter, Gianna Clare, I have decided to begin this blog. I pray that it will be used to the glory of God for the healing of the hearts of sorrowful Mothers. May our Holy Mother, who suffered the loss of her own Son for our sake, guide us and intercede on our behalf to our dear Lord.
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