"Space Which Remains in You"

Space Which Remains in You
by Pope John Paul the Great
(from the perspective of John, the beloved disciple)

I often return
to the space which is Your Son, your first Son.
Then thought takes on His form
but the eyes remain empty--
and to the lips words return, the same words
which he put on
when he wanted to stay with us.

These self-same words enfold his space
better than sight,
better than memory and heart--oh, Mother,
then you are with Him again.

Bow down with me and take--
Your Son is the taste of bread,
and beyond taste, ineffable substance.

And now--more real than in my lips' whisper,
than in thought, sight and memory--
in the space also more really in bread?
Your arms now remember His space, the little head
snuggling to your shoulder,

for the space has remained in You,
for it was taken from You.

And shining never empty. So very present in You.
When with my trembling hands I broke the bread
to give it to you, Mother,
I stood for a moment amazed as I saw
the whole truth through one single tear
in your eye.



and now some not so profound words from me...

My husband got me the book "The Place Within: The Poetry of Pope John Paul II" for Mother's Day in 2005.  This poem is my favorite of the ones I've read.  It touches a place in my heart which was broken, that place that misses my sweet baby girls whom I lost in miscarriage.  Mary, too, lost her baby.  The memories she must have had as He died, the moment when she proclaimed herself the handmaid of the Lord and the Holy Spirit came upon her to conceive the Savior, carrying Him within her womb those 9 months, His Holy Birth, nursing Him to sleep at night, snuggling with her precious One, His childhood, and beyond.  Her Sorrow must have been tremendous watching Him there upon the Cross.  With St. John beside her, he must have seen all of this great Sorrow and wanted to return her to those happier times.  And he can, through the most Blessed Sacrament of the Altar, he, a priest, can bring her sweet Jesus back to her and fill that space which remains in her.  Jesus, in this Holy Eucharist, longs to fill that space which remains in us in the same way.  He remains with us in the Blessed Sacrament to be the One who heals and fulfills us, and so, we run to Him!

"And you yourself a sword will pierce"

Simeon's prophecy to Mary, our Blessed Mother, from the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 2, vs. 35.

It feels a little like a sword has pierced my own heart, hearing of the death of my dear friend's baby (see post below). All the pain of losing a child wells up within me as I see her go through it. If I could take any of her pain away, I would; God, give it to me. My emotions are raw, as if my own had just died, and I remember the prophecy of Simeon to Mary, "And you yourself a sword will pierce" foretelling the death of her Son, our Lord. Oh how great a Mother's grief at having to bury her child!!!!!!

And yet, hope remains. For we women are all called to be icons of Mary, our Blessed Mother, and how much greater a depth of understanding we have of her, whom we are called to emulate in our Christian living, when one of our own children dies. How much more we grasp just what the cost of our salvation is, and how much our lives are worth! If you ever doubted your worth, go to our Blessed Mother, who watched her only Son die on a cross, held His body in her arms after they took Him down from the cross, was there when He was laid in the tomb, and rejoice with her in the glory of the resurrection.

Elizabeth has done all this. Elizabeth is an icon of Mary...she, like Mary, gave up her body to grow this precious baby; she gave birth to her child; suffered through the Agony in the Garden; seen her child living one hour, gone the next; held her child in her arms after her beautiful child had passed from this life; and laid her baby in the grave; And she did all of this with great faith in God. Elizabeth, my dear friend, rejoice now with Mary in the joy of the resurrection, the cause for our hope. You are beautiful and I love you.

Catherine Elizabeth

Should a Mother and Father ever have to bury their child?

Please pray for one of my dearest, closest friends and her family. Today they bury their sweet baby girl, Catherine Elizabeth. She was born on November 15th, and 9 short days later, her life here ended. One person called her beautiful 9-day life outside the womb a novena. How beautiful to think of: a nine-day devotion to obtain special graces. In the pictures we saw of her, it looks as though she's filled with great devotion with her peaceful smiles. Certainly her life brought so many special graces to all of us who had the privilege of rejoicing over her. Her life continues to bring those special graces, as she, through the mercy of God, intercedes for us to the Father, and will forevermore.

"Lord Jesus Christ, by your own three days in the tomb, you hallowed the graves of all who believe in you and so made the grave a sign of hope that promises resurrection, even as it claims our mortal bodies. Grant that our sister Catherine may sleep in peace until you awaken her to glory, for you are the resurrection and the life. Then she will see you face to face and in your light will see light and know the splendor of God, for you live and reign for ever and ever. Amen.

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon them. Amen. May the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen."

From the Handbook of Prayers

From the Diary of St. Faustina

"Everything that exists is enclosed in the bowels of My Mercy, more deeply than an infant in its Mother's womb." Paragraph 1076

January 22

Not used to depression...It's been about 2 years since we conceived Gianna and 5 since we conceived Ariana, and things had been going swell for some time now. I talk to the boys about their sisters in heaven, no depression; I see their memory boxes, no depression; all kinds of things remind me of them daily, no depression; until the whole picture thing...depression.

Maybe I haven't bounced out of it because I know the anniversary of Roe v. Wade is tomorrow and there are millions of babies whose Mothers chose this. I don't understand how people could choose this, but then I'm sure people don't understand the pain of losing a child until they've come to terms with the fact that they have indeed lost a child. I don't pretend to think that every choice for abortion is an easy, flippant one, but I know that some are and that's painful...to throw away beautiful life...lives like my Ariana and Gianna's...God turn our hearts to you and be merciful.

So back to the depression...should you feel it too, let us together offer the pain for all of those contemplating abortion, for those women who are forced to have abortions (the deepest of tragedies, much deeper than our own), for those men and women who desperately need healing from abortion...may God have mercy on us all and give us His peace.

No more pictures

As I wondered around the blogisphere to check out the pictures of friends' kids, I started to well up with tears...wow, haven't done that in awhile. There were kids there that are the ages my little Ariana and Gianna should be now, and the kids are all smiling and happy, enjoying life with their families...I have a similar website for pics of the boys, but I can't take and post pics of my precious girls.

I remind myself: my girls are in heaven now... they're beyond any happiness the children in this world could possibly know... they smile upon the faces of Jesus and Mary instead of mine, and I'm sure Jesus and Mary smile back... my girls are in heaven now... heaven... beautiful, wonderful heaven... heaven hold them (and me)

Prayers for you

My dear friends,

I want everyone who reads this blog to know that my prayers are with you. If you have any prayer requests, are experiencing a miscarriage or know someone who is, have ever lost a child, or for any other reason, please reply to this post and ask me to pray for your specific needs. I will gladly do so. I will keep all responses to this post private unless you ask me to publish it to obtain prayers from other readers as well. Please be assured that even if you don't request prayer, my heartfelt and sincere prayers are there. May God give you all peace that surpasses understanding.

In Christ,
Sarah