A Cause for Hope

Blessing of parents after miscarriage

2011-06-26T08:52:00.000-07:00

BLESSING OF PARENTS AFTER MISCARRIAGE

All make the sign of the cross, as the minister says: Our help is in the name of the Lord.
All reply: Who made heaven and earth.

One of those present or the minister reads a text of sacred Scripture, for example:

Brothers and sisters, listen to the words of the book of Lamentations:
3:17-26

Hope in the Lord.

My soul is deprived of peace, I have forgotten what happiness is; I tell myself my future is lost, all that I hoped for from the Lord. The thought of my homeless poverty is wormwood and gall; Remembering it over and over leaves my soul downcast within me. But I will call this to mind, as my reason to have hope: The favors of the Lord are not exhausted, his mercies are not spent; They are renewed each morning, so great is his faithfulness. My portion is the Lord, says my soul; therefore will I hope in him. Good is the LORD to one who waits for him, to the soul that seeks him; It is good to hope in silence for the saving help of the LORD.

Or:
Romans 8:26-31--If God is for us, who can be against us?
Colossians 1:9-12--We have been praying for you unceasingly.

A minister who is a priest or deacon says the prayer of blessing with hands outstretched over the parents; a lay minister says the prayer with hands joined.

Compassionate God,
soothe the hearts of N. and N.,
and grant that through the prayers of Mary,
who grieved by the cross of her Son,
you may enlighten their faith,
give hope to their hearts,
and peace to their lives.
Lord, grant mercy to all the members of this family
and comfort them with the hope
that one day we will all live with you,
with your Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit,
for ever and ever. R. Amen.

Or:

Lord, God of all creation,
we bless and thank you for your tender care.
Receive this life you created in love
and comfort your faithful people in their time of loss
with the assurance of your unfailing mercy.
We ask this through Christ our Lord. R. Amen.

"And you yourself a sword will pierce"

2009-11-30T13:24:00.000-08:00

Simeon's prophecy to Mary, our Blessed Mother, from the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 2, vs. 35.

It feels a little like a sword has pierced my own heart, hearing of the death of my dear friend's baby (see post below). All the pain of losing a child wells up within me as I see her go through it. If I could take any of her pain away, I would; God, give it to me. My emotions are raw, as if my own had just died, and I remember the prophecy of Simeon to Mary, "And you yourself a sword will pierce" foretelling the death of her Son, our Lord. Oh how great a Mother's grief at having to bury her child!!!!!!

And yet, hope remains. For we women are all called to be icons of Mary, our Blessed Mother, and how much greater a depth of understanding we have of her, whom we are called to emulate in our Christian living, when one of our own children dies. How much more we grasp just what the cost of our salvation is, and how much our lives are worth! If you ever doubted your worth, go to our Blessed Mother, who watched her only Son die on a cross, held His body in her arms after they took Him down from the cross, was there when He was laid in the tomb, and rejoice with her in the glory of the resurrection.

Elizabeth has done all this. Elizabeth is an icon of Mary...she, like Mary, gave up her body to grow this precious baby; she gave birth to her child; suffered through the Agony in the Garden; seen her child living one hour, gone the next; held her child in her arms after her beautiful child had passed from this life; and laid her baby in the grave; And she did all of this with great faith in God. Elizabeth, my dear friend, rejoice now with Mary in the joy of the resurrection, the cause for our hope. You are beautiful and I love you.

Catherine Elizabeth

2009-11-30T13:05:00.000-08:00

Should a Mother and Father ever have to bury their child?

Please pray for one of my dearest, closest friends and her family. Today they bury their sweet baby girl, Catherine Elizabeth. She was born on November 15th, and 9 short days later, her life here ended. One person called her beautiful 9-day life outside the womb a novena. How beautiful to think of: a nine-day devotion to obtain special graces. In the pictures we saw of her, it looks as though she's filled with great devotion with her peaceful smiles. Certainly her life brought so many special graces to all of us who had the privilege of rejoicing over her. Her life continues to bring those special graces, as she, through the mercy of God, intercedes for us to the Father, and will forevermore.

"Lord Jesus Christ, by your own three days in the tomb, you hallowed the graves of all who believe in you and so made the grave a sign of hope that promises resurrection, even as it claims our mortal bodies. Grant that our sister Catherine may sleep in peace until you awaken her to glory, for you are the resurrection and the life. Then she will see you face to face and in your light will see light and know the splendor of God, for you live and reign for ever and ever. Amen.

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon them. Amen. May the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen."

From the Handbook of Prayers

From the Diary of St. Faustina

2009-09-09T07:23:00.000-07:00

"Everything that exists is enclosed in the bowels of My Mercy, more deeply than an infant in its Mother's womb." Paragraph 1076

January 22

2009-01-21T12:08:00.001-08:00

Not used to depression...It's been about 2 years since we conceived Gianna and 5 since we conceived Ariana, and things had been going swell for some time now. I talk to the boys about their sisters in heaven, no depression; I see their memory boxes, no depression; all kinds of things remind me of them daily, no depression; until the whole picture thing...depression.

Maybe I haven't bounced out of it because I know the anniversary of Roe v. Wade is tomorrow and there are millions of babies whose Mothers chose this. I don't understand how people could choose this, but then I'm sure people don't understand the pain of losing a child until they've come to terms with the fact that they have indeed lost a child. I don't pretend to think that every choice for abortion is an easy, flippant one, but I know that some are and that's painful...to throw away beautiful life...lives like my Ariana and Gianna's...God turn our hearts to you and be merciful.

So back to the depression...should you feel it too, let us together offer the pain for all of those contemplating abortion, for those women who are forced to have abortions (the deepest of tragedies, much deeper than our own), for those men and women who desperately need healing from abortion...may God have mercy on us all and give us His peace.

No more pictures

2009-01-16T14:19:00.000-08:00

As I wondered around the blogisphere to check out the pictures of friends' kids, I started to well up with tears...wow, haven't done that in awhile. There were kids there that are the ages my little Ariana and Gianna should be now, and the kids are all smiling and happy, enjoying life with their families...I have a similar website for pics of the boys, but I can't take and post pics of my precious girls.

I remind myself: my girls are in heaven now... they're beyond any happiness the children in this world could possibly know... they smile upon the faces of Jesus and Mary instead of mine, and I'm sure Jesus and Mary smile back... my girls are in heaven now... heaven... beautiful, wonderful heaven... heaven hold them (and me)

Prayers for you

2008-02-22T13:03:00.000-08:00

My dear friends,

I want everyone who reads this blog to know that my prayers are with you. If you have any prayer requests, are experiencing a miscarriage or know someone who is, have ever lost a child, or for any other reason, please reply to this post and ask me to pray for your specific needs. I will gladly do so. I will keep all responses to this post private unless you ask me to publish it to obtain prayers from other readers as well. Please be assured that even if you don't request prayer, my heartfelt and sincere prayers are there. May God give you all peace that surpasses understanding.

In Christ,
Sarah

Out of the blue

2007-11-14T12:57:00.000-08:00

Last night, I had one of those times when, out of the blue, the pain from the miscarriage hits you and you just break down. It hasn't happened in a while now, but I'm guessing the approach of Gianna's due date is what spurred the reoccurrence. I guess I was hoping the joy from my current pregnancy would somehow balance out the pain of losing Gianna...not that this new baby could ever replace little Gianna, but just help with the hurt. It seems I had also assumed that I was doing well, but maybe the pain never goes away completely...does it? I know it hasn't with Ariana...sometimes I get out the little box we made with remembrances of her brief life here on Earth, and just feel. Sometimes I feel the joy of the truth and sometimes I feel the pain of loss. And so, I continue to heal, and maybe through God's grace, the break downs will stop one day, but until then, let us pray for one another.

Healing through humor

2007-11-12T14:04:00.000-08:00

Humor...immediately following our first miscarriage, I couldn't bring myself to laugh. I couldn't bring myself to do much, but certainly, nothing seemed all that funny. As time passed, however, humor became helpful in healing, and with our second miscarriage, there was nothing like laughing at our son (who is amazingly silly) to help heal the hurt we were feeling. I try to keep my perspective as heavenward as possible (at all times, but speaking especially about after a miscarriage right now). Looking at things in light of salvation often lightens the heavy weight I can feel after a miscarriage and allows for some laughter and humor to enter. For example, one thing I love to reflect on is how when I go to Mass, I am reunited with my girls. When reflecting on this one day recently (since we found out we were pregnant again), I thought, wow, we take 4 kids to Mass every time we go. This is especially amazing because I often take 4 kids to daily Mass all by myself! I like to joke now that I can't see why mothers think it's so difficult to take their children to Mass, taking four isn't bad at all! :-)

Being pregnant after miscarriage

2007-11-12T13:37:00.001-08:00

We're pregnant again, praise God. Being pregnant again, after having two miscarriages, brings up a lot of questions...when should we tell people we're pregnant? How are people going to respond? What if I miscarry again? Is there anything I can do to prevent another miscarriage? How can I calm my fears? And that's just the beginning...

This time around, I've had 3 nightmares that I'm having a miscarriage. It's obvious that I'm worried about it, even when I don't realize I'm worried about it. We're currently at 13 weeks and we've had one ultrasound where we saw the baby's precious heartbeat...so we've made it past the point where our babies were miscarried, but the fear has only subsided some.

So, how do we deal with all those questions? I can tell you what my husband and I do, but some of it is so personal for each family, so my "answers" may not be your answers.

We found out we were pregnant when we were about 4 1/2-5 weeks pregnant and we immediately began telling people. We choose to tell people right away for a couple of reasons...the first being that we have a new life, something worthy of great celebration, even if that life is brief. We want everyone to be able to celebrate with us and if we wait until after we miscarry to tell people we are pregnant, most people don't feel like celebrating the life of our little one. The second reason is that we want to give our children every possible advantage at living, and we believe that the prayers of others will help our child live, so we ask for lots of prayer. Some people react with extreme joy when we tell them we're pregnant again, despite knowing that we have had the miscarriages, and others respond nervously, not sure how to react to the news. We truly appreciate all of those people who can respond with great joy, but we also understand why people respond nervously. It's scary and no one likes to hear that you're having a miscarriage. We use those opportunities as a chance to uphold the dignity of the child in our womb, and hopefully help spread the culture of life.

What if we miscarry again? I never thought I would have a 2nd miscarriage. I thought we had figured out what had happened with our first miscarriage and would be able to prevent any more...but you just don't know why you miscarry, and we did have another one...and we survived. I feel like if I had a third, I wouldn't survive, but then I remind myself that God alone knows what I can handle, and He loves us more than we can imagine, enough to offer His own Son as a sacrifice for us. He knows what it's like to have His Son die and He knows how we can and will make it through should we lose another. Of course, it takes reminding myself of this often just to remain at peace. So that's what I do...I pray, I remind myself of God's great love and mercy, and I pray some more. I do what I can to help my baby have a safe womb to live in (especially with the help of the Pope Paul VI Institute), and then I place my children in God's hands, entrusting them also to our Lady for her prayers and protection.

God give us the faith to continue trying for new life and when we do conceive, give us the grace to be free from fear and trust completely in You.

What I heard that I didn't want to hear

2007-09-17T12:07:00.000-07:00

There were so many things that I heard when telling people of our miscarriages that I didn't want to hear...things like "you're young, you'll have more," "there must have been something wrong with the baby," "your son must not be ready for a little brother or sister" and perhaps the worst was "it was just tissue." How are we to respond to people who say things that are not sensitive, true, or comforting? I am sure that most people mean well when they respond with comments like these, so I usually (if I'm in an emotional state where I can do this) try to gently and lovingly present them with the truth. I do this for each and every one of you, so that God willing, word will get around and not everyone will have to hear these things; I do it for the person making the comment because they probably do not realize that what they are saying is hurtful, not helpful; I do it for the sake of my baby and all babies, who need the world to realize their humanity; and I do it for God because I want the truth of His creation to be known throughout the world. If I'm not in the emotional state to be able to do this, I simply pray. Pray that the truth will penetrate our culture, and pray that despite what others may say, I will always remember the sanctity of each and every human life.

"the plans I have for you..."

2007-09-11T14:57:00.000-07:00

"'For I know well the plans I have in mind for you,' says the LORD, 'plans for your welfare, not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope!'" Jeremiah 29:11

Having miscarried two of my three children, I started reflecting on why God allowed Francisco, our son, to live and not Ariana and Gianna. He could have taken all three up to Himself, but He did not. It is important to God that Francisco is here on Earth. I began thinking, God must have a special plan for Francisco, that he should be allowed to live...which led me to think, why are any of us still here? God must have a plan for us as well...and not just any plan, a unique plan, a plan for our salvation, unlike any other. He has plans for our sanctification, plans for great love, probably plans for great sacrifice, plans for us to give and get mercy: our path to heaven. What is His plan for me? Do I constantly seek to discover His divine will in my life, or do I prefer my own? My own is filled with pride, despair and grief. His is full of joy, love, and hope. How easy is it to fall to despair when we lose a child unless we know that God's plans are for our welfare and the welfare of our children? The pain is real, and I do not discount that we will feel pain, but even through pain and great sorrow, we can find a wellspring of joy and hope, knowing that our good God works all things for His glory.

God, where are You?

2007-08-29T13:11:00.001-07:00

I remember, after our first miscarriage, feeling as if God was absent from my life, like He had excused Himself for the moment. The devastation was so great, and the temptation to despair was immense. Reflecting now on the feeling that He was nowhere to be found led me to one place...the tabernacle, where God is present body, blood, soul and divinity at all times. There are many places I should have known God was, but none so profound as His holy presence in the Eucharist. I urge you to seek Him out in the holy Eucharist because He waits for you. Frequent holy Mass; spend time in adoration of the Blessed Sacrament; there God Himself waits to heal us from every wound suffered.

Really, in those moments where I wondered where God was, there were so many places I could have found Him: in the Eucharist, in my husband's love, in the care and concern of family and friends, in the sacrament of Reconciliation, in sacred scripture, and even within myself, for my body, torn by miscarriage, was still a temple of the Holy Spirit.

May God help us all to remember where He is and never leave Him, as He never leaves us.

Have I mention the Pope Paul VI Institute yet?

2007-08-14T11:21:00.000-07:00

I don't think I have....If you have had multiple miscarriages, have trouble conceiving, or have other fertility / woman's health problems, please consider getting in touch with the Pope Paul VI Institute in Omaha, NE. Dr. Thomas Hilgers is an incredible doctor who read Humanae Vitae and knew that Pope Paul VI was speaking to him. He has done a tremendous amount of positive, pro-LIFE research that helps families achieve pregnancy and maintain pregnancy. We owe the life of our little boy, Francisco, to Dr. Hilgers, his staff, and all the people in our area who helped us work with Dr. Hilgers. If you want more information about his work, check out these websites:
www.popepaulvi.com
www.fertilitycare.org
www.naprotechnology.com
www.creightonmodel.com .

"One Thing is Necessary"

2007-08-08T12:43:00.000-07:00

"One thing is necessary: to be near Jesus. You know well that at the birth of our Lord the shepherds heard the angelic and divine chants of the heavenly spirits. The Scriptures say so. But they do not say that his Virgin Mother and St. Joseph, who were nearer to the Child, heard the voices of angels or saw those miracles of splendor. On the contrary, they heard the Child weeping and saw by the light of a poor lantern the eyes of the Divine Child all bathed in tears, in sighs and shivering with cold. Now I ask you: would you not have preferred to be in the dark stable filled with the cries of the little Child, than with the shepherds, beside yourself with joy over those sweet melodies from heaven and the beauties of this wonderful splendor!" St. Pio of Pietrelcina

This quote has often given me so much peace in times of suffering and trial. As much as I would love to hear the angels singing and see "those miracles or splendor," how much greater it would be to be at the side of the Christchild...to be like Mary, seeing His every affliction from birth to death, and joyfully loving through all their sufferings. As much as I would like to have my children here to hold and care for, I would rather be close to Christ, which means I must graciously accept all that God wills for my life, including their death. As much as I would love to hear my childrens' first cries, and warm them when they are cold, instead I must embrace the suffering Christ, just as Mary, our Mother, did and have great hope for the eternal joys of heaven.

Trying for new life...

2007-08-01T13:24:00.000-07:00

There are so many things that go through your mind when you are thinking about trying to conceive again...so many "what ifs?". It can be easy to let fear drive your thoughts. What if we have another miscarriage? The thought of it is terrifying...but what if I never tried because of my fear? Can I give up the possibility of another child making it to my arms? No, I cannot give that up. And then also, can I give up the possibility of birthing another child into heaven? No, I must not.
Dear God, give us the quiet we need to hear your holy will for our lives and the faith to carry it out!

With a big smile...

2007-06-06T13:01:00.001-07:00

“The easiest way and the simplest way of belonging is this: the Holy Spirit makes us do that giving of self, that total surrender to God without any reflection without any counting the cost, we call that blind surrender. We allow God to take from us whatever He wants and we accept whatever He gives with a big smile.“ Mother Theresa

Barbara McGuigan, a host of EWTN's Open Line, read this quote last week on Open Line when she was doing a show on helping others heal from the loss of a child. She emphasized the last sentence, "we allow God to take from us whatever He wants and we accept whatever He gives with a big smile." It sounds difficult, if not impossible, to do...accepting a miscarriage with a big smile. How can this be done? The key is the first sentence..."the Holy Spirit makes us do that giving of self, that total surrender to God without any reflection without any counting the cost;" this takes openness to the Spirit, and at times, especially after our first miscarriage, all I could offer was a prayer that I could be open to the Spirit. But God accepts us wherever we're at and if we but give Him the opening into our hearts, He can use that. Pray and pray to be open to Him, to His healing, to His will for your miscarriage, that He will use you as He wills to bring about the good He longs to bring forth from your suffering. He is a good God, a perfect Father, and He comes to us, holds us, and accepts us with a big smile. Let us in turn do the same for all the He wills for us, and most especially, for the crosses He gives us to bear with Christ.

O Marvelous Sacrament!

2007-06-06T11:27:00.000-07:00

Jesus did not leave us alone here in the world to toil our way through, to find our own way. No, He wished to remain with us, to be in our living and our dying. He left us His precious, most sacred, body, blood, soul and divinity in the Holy Eucharist! A greater source of healing, you will not find. Run to Him; embrace Him; adore Him; receive Him. He is in the tabernacle, the monstrance, on the altar, waiting for you. Receive Him daily if you are able. Let His truth penetrate the darkest parts of you, and be healed. Embrace the Church He left for us all, for you will find so much healing in our Holy Mother Church, His gracious spouse. Pay heed to the Sacraments; call on the Spirit given to you in your Baptism and at your Confirmation; be reconciled to God through the sacrament of Reconciliation; use the sacramental graces God bestowed upon you when you were joined in Holy Matrimony; but most especially, meet Jesus in the Holy Mass and receive Him often, for His consolation is so great.

The Saints embrace our children

2007-06-05T13:07:00.000-07:00

Our children our in perfect company, the company of the Saints and angels in heaven. And the Saints embrace our children! (We always want our children to have good, holy friends don't we??)

With our first miscarriage, we named our daughter Ariana Faustina. We chose "Faustina" after St. Faustina Kowalska, who brought us the devotion of the Divine Mercy. Our priest offered a holy Mass in rememberance of our daughter in the chapel at our parish. When we entered the chapel for the Mass, there was a beautiful Divine Mercy image to the right of the altar. My husband, thinking Father had placed the image there since our daughter was named for St. Faustina, went up to thank Father after the Mass. He told Father "thank you for putting the image there, it meant a lot to us" and Father said he had not even thought about our daughter being named for St. Faustina, and that he had not put it there for the Mass. The image, he explained, was an apostolic Divine Mercy image that had been blessed by Pope John Paul II, and it was the only one of its type in the United States. It travelled from parish to parish around the U.S. and it was only at our church for one day and when we set the date for the Mass, no one had any idea it would be there.

Coincidence? The world may tell us this is just a crazy coincidence...but we know better. We believe Christ and St. Faustina were comforting us, showing us God's Divine Mercy, and that our little daughter was there with them, embraced by St. Faustina and all the Saints, embraced by her Mother, Mary, embraced by Christ Himself.

Remember O Most Gracious Virgin Mary

2007-05-29T13:36:00.000-07:00

Remember, O Most Gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that anyone
who fled to they protection,
implored thy help,
or sought thine intercession
was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee,
O Virgin of virgins, my mother,
to thee I com, before thee I stand,
sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions,
but in they mercy hear and answer me.

Amen

How can I speak of healing from miscarriage without mentioning our Blessed Mother, who also lost her Son because of God's perfect will? Because of her "fiat," her perfect openness to God's holy will, salvation came to all of man. She said "be it done unto me according to Thy will" and she knew God's will was perfect. She heard that a sword would pierce her heart, and she did not waiver, only trusted in God. What a model of perfect submission to God's holy will we have!

After both miscarriages, I have thought about our Blessed Mother and the suffering she must have endured seeing Jesus through His Passion and Death; the pain I felt after losing Ariana and Gianna having only held them in my womb for a few weeks was so immense...it is impossible for me to imagine what it must have been like carrying Him for 9 months, and then caring for Him for 33 years before He endured such a death, and she endured such a loss. How beautiful that she would endure this burden for our salvation and the salvation of our children! How horrible that it was my sinfulness that necessitated her Son's death, but they also gave reason for His becoming man...reason for His becoming hers. Not that I plan to continue in sin, nor am I grateful for sin, but it goes to show God can work all things for good. And so He does with us...He works all things for good. Perhaps by losing our children, we will turn our hearts all the more to Him and thus be aided on our path to salvation. We pray that the good done from losing our little ones in this life bears fruit for our eternal life!

Our Lady of Sorrows, pray for us.
Our Lady of Perpetual Help, pray for us.
Mary, Comforter of the Afflicted, pray for us.
Mary, Mother of Divine Grace, pray for us.
Mary, Refuge of Sinners, pray for us.
Mary, Most Holy, pray for us.

See the Litany of Loreto

Miscarriage Prayer & more

2007-05-29T08:35:00.000-07:00

I received this in an e-mail from Angela, and wanted to pass it along to you all:

"With my first miscarriage, Fr. Gary called me and said, "Congratulations!" I was stunned, and replied, "EXCUSE ME!!" To which he said, "The idea is to get your children to heaven sinless....you did it!"

Recently with my fourth miscarriage, it joyfully occurred to me, that upon my death, I shall leave 5 very lively, loving children behind and upon entering Eternal Life, I will be greeted by the four whom I have lost!! I shall not enter Heaven alone as a mother!! Isn't that a wonderful thought?

I also wanted to share with your Mother Angelica's Miscarriage Prayer:

Miscarriage Prayer

My Lord, the baby is dead!

Why, my Lord—dare I ask why? It will not hear the whisper of the wind or see the beauty of its parents’ face—it will not see the beauty of Your creation or the flame of a sunrise. Why, my Lord?

“Why, My child—do you ask ‘why’? Well, I will tell you why.

You see, the child lives. Instead of the wind he hears the sound of angels singing before My throne. Instead of the beauty that passes he sees everlasting Beauty—he sees My face. He was created and lived a short time so the image of his parents imprinted on his face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor. He knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth. He laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess. My ways are not the ways of man. I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another. He was created for My joy and his parents’ merits. He has never seen pain or sin. He has never felt hunger or pain. I breathed a soul into a seed, made it grow and called it forth.”

I am humbled before you, my Lord, for questioning Your wisdom, goodness, and love. I speak as a fool—forgive me. I acknowledge Your sovereign rights over life and death. I thank You for the life that began for so short a time to enjoy so long an Eternity.

-- Mother M. Angelica"

You can also see the link to Mother Angelica's prayer and a prayer of blessing for parents who have miscarried in the links on the right. Thank you, Angela, for your reflections! May we dedicate ourselves wholly to Christ, so that one day we may be united with Him and our children!

Deep calling deep

2007-05-24T09:09:00.000-07:00

"Deep calls to deep
at the thunder of they cataracts;
all thy waves and thy billows
have gone over me.
By day the Lord commands his steadfast love;
and at night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life."
Psalm 42: 7-8

There is something about the thought of the depth of God calling out to the depth of my heart that brings me deep consolation in all tribulations. I think it is knowing that God knows the innerworkings of my heart; He knows the depth of my soul, and still he calls to me, to that very part of me. Not only does he call to the depths of my soul, but He commands His steadfast love, His deep and abiding love; a love filled with mercy and with hope. How can I not sing His praise? How can I not offer my life and the life of my children as a prayer to Him?

The question "why?"

2007-05-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

The day after we found out that we were miscarrying Gianna, we had our holy hour. While in adoration, I questioned God asking "why": why did we need another miscarriage; why wasn't one enough; why do they have to happen at all; why would He give our girls life only to take it away a few weeks later? The answer was hard; not a reason at all, but questions back to me: "Why do you sin?," "Isn't it for your sins that my Son died?" God was being my Father. He wasn't belittling my mourning, but He was letting me know that I don't need to question why He does the things He does. He is perfect. He knows what He is doing, and He does EVERYTHING for our good, even to the point of sending His own Son to redeem us from our sin, something we are not worthy of, and yet He extends His mercy. The fragility of life is a reminder to us that we need to strive eagerly to live a life of holiness, to rid ourselves from sin, and to trust completely in God's mercy.

Sometimes I get little glimpses of why we are called to struggle through this...because we have intercessors in heaven, because we can minister to others through it, because we can unite our suffering to Christ's and thus break ourselves from sin, because we can offer those sufferings for the good of the world, and, in our case, especially for the end to abortion. Accepting the death of our little ones is accepting the will of God. And we need not question the will of God, only spend our lives doing whatever He wills.

"Therefore, since Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same attitude (for whoever suffers in the flesh has broken with sin), so as not to spend what remains of one's life in the flesh on human desires, but on the will of God." 1 Peter 4:1

Litany of precious little saints

2007-05-23T12:02:00.000-07:00

I would like to start a litany to baby saints. If you have miscarried or have a baby who died very young and desired/had your baby's baptism in the Catholic Church, and would like to have your baby's name included in the litany, please comment and put their name so I may add them.

Litany of precious little saints*

Lord have mercy.
Christ have mercy.
Lord have mercy.
Lord, hear us, Christ graciously hear us.

Ariana Faustina, pray for us.
Gianna Clare, pray for us.
Philip Gabriel, pray for us.
Mary Isabelle, pray for us.
Ruth Ann, pray for us.
Kimberly Ann-Marie, pray for us.
Ann Marie, pray for us.
Anne Faustina, pray for us.
John Joseph, pray for us.
Grace Siobhan, pray for us.
Michael Liam, pray for us.
Stephen Francis, pray for us.
Abigail Mary, pray for us.

All you precious little children, pray for us.

*Just a note, this if for private devotion only.

Are miscarried babies angels?

2007-05-23T11:23:00.001-07:00

Many people have called our children that we have miscarried "angels," which made us realize that many people do not understand what angels are. I looked up the definition of "Angels" in the Catholic Source Book (awesome book by the way) and it reads:

"Heavenly beings, genderless, of a fixed population, who neither marry nor are given in marriage; distinct from saints (which humans may become); mentioned nearly 300 times in the Bible." pg. 117

So, I wanted to clear things up a little. I mean no disrespect to those who find comfort in thinking of their children as angels, but this is simply not the truth, and the truth is what will truly console us. The truth is that we, with God, gave them their humanity; the only way they can be our children, our flesh and bone, is through their humanity. Our babies had a gender, they may become saints, they are distinct from angels, and they are beautiful own purpose and being. To call my child an angel is to deny that the child is truly mine, my flesh, for angels do not have flesh, do not have parents.

We can believe that, if we desire their baptism, God will take them to heaven when they day and they will be saints. The church also proclaims that we may hope for heaven for all babies who have died without baptism, despite the parents' desire to have them baptized. So this is where our hope and consolation lie, in knowing our little baby has become a saint. To quote the Catholic Encyclopedia:

"Vatican II says that saints are those who are joined to Him "in sharing for ever a life that is divine and free from all decay" and "have found true life with God" (GS 18); they "share in his life and glory" (AG 2) and "share in his happiness" (GS 21)."

How beautiful and consoling to think of our children in this way!

All things came to be through Him...

2007-05-23T08:54:00.000-07:00

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came to be through him, and without him nothing came to be. What came to be through him was life, and this life was the light of the human race; the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1: 1-4

This was one of the passages we read this weekend as we buried Gianna Clare. We have the great blessing of Lucas's family living on a ranch in South Texas. We buried both Ariana and Gianna there, and what a blessing to know the land will (God-willing) be in the family forever. Praise be to God that Lucas's parents hvae been so generous in letting us use a portion for our girls. Not everyone is so fortunate, so I'm looking for suggestions of what others have done, and I plan to see what can be done locally to have a proper place where those who miscarry can bury their babies....God give me the time to do this!

Okay, back to the passage...I don't have a whole lot to say about it; it speaks for itself very well. As Lucas read it aloud after we placed the little box holding our precious Gianna Clare in the ground, I sensed the Lord's healing and renewal...I realized that Christ's light will shine into our souls (provided we open ourselves to Him) through the darkness of miscarriage. Thought the darkness may seem intense, the darkness will not overcome us. It will not be too much for us, for without God, Ariana and Gianna would have never come to be; so how can I doubt that He will give us what we need to get through?

Labor Pains

2007-05-22T10:53:00.000-07:00

"Jesus said to his disciples:
“Amen, amen, I say to you, you will weep and mourn, while the world rejoices; you will grieve, but your grief will become joy. When a woman is in labor, she is in anguish because her hour has arrived; but when she has given birth to a child, she no longer remembers the pain because of her joy that a child has been born into the world. So you also are now in anguish. But I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you. On that day you will not question me about anything. Amen, amen, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you.”" John 16:20-23

Last Friday, this was the Gospel reading for daily Mass. In brief, Father was preaching during his homily about the "labor pains" we go through in this life in order to bring about the joy of God. It was a beautiful homily. I noticed, however, that I started to focus on the woman who is in labor, how much I longed for that pain, knowing I would not bear it with my little Gianna Clare, who we had just miscarried. I began to cry, to mourn the loss of these pains, and then the loss of the joy of having her in my arms and then no longer remembering the pain because of the joy that a child has been born into the world. I knew that I was at a crossroads in my thinking...I could continue to feel sorry for myself, or I could turn my thoughts to God and see what He wanted to teach me through this scripture & Father's homily. So, praise God, I wiped my tears and turned my thoughts to Him who loves (something I am not always able to do). I began to think about the "labor pains" I was experiencing with the loss of Gianna Clare, and those I had felt with the loss of Ariana Faustina...the sorrow from never holding them in my arms, from never seeing their hearts beat, the difficulty of telling all those who had been excitedly praying for their safe arrival that they would not arrive, hearing the comments of the people who, with good intentions, offered words that hurt rather than healed...all the interior pains that one feels when one loses a precious loved one. I realized that my "labor pains" were not a physical pain, but the interior pain was just as real. And then I considered how the woman forgets her pain when she realizes that a child is born into the world: and how much greater the joy when we REALIZE that a child has been born, not into this world, but into the next, to heaven. May this joy be what causes us to no longer remember the interior pains of miscarriage.

I also do not want to post such an incredible scriptural passage (aren't they all?) without comment on "you will grieve, but your grief will become joy" and "So you also are now in anguish. But I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you. " God's beautiful promise of healing is repeated over and over again in scripture. We must strive eagerly for heaven so that our hearts can rejoice with God when we see Him in glory and no one will take our joy away from us!

"The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away...

2007-05-15T12:15:00.000-07:00

...Blessed be the name of the LORD." Job 1:21

"Blessed are those who mourn...

2007-05-11T15:27:00.000-07:00

...for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4. God promises us His comfort. What a promise...we do not know the time or the hour His comfort will come, but we know that it will come, and so we rejoice. We hold on to the promise that He will give us peace, and we make it through another day. How beautiful the love of the Father, to offer His consolation to poor sinners.

A Cause for Hope

2007-05-11T11:37:00.000-07:00

Our first goal as Christians is to be united with our loving God, who greatly desires our closeness to Him. Is there anything that could be greater than this? And our goal as parents, of course, is to get our children to heaven. How amazing the consolation then, knowing that our baby, because we desired their baptism, has encountered God's great mercy and is praising Him in heaven. How great our hope for heaven when we know we will be reunited with our precious children who have gone before us! This is why I titled the blog, "A Cause for Hope," because that is precisely what our little saints are.

The call

2007-05-10T12:30:00.000-07:00

Ever since the miscarriage of our daughter, Ariana Faustina, I have sensed a call to help other mothers who have lost their children to miscarriage as well. Now, following the miscarriage of our second daughter, Gianna Clare, I have decided to begin this blog. I pray that it will be used to the glory of God for the healing of the hearts of sorrowful Mothers. May our Holy Mother, who suffered the loss of her own Son for our sake, guide us and intercede on our behalf to our dear Lord.